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shadows and dreamsThere's so much screaming in my dreams
It's so loud that I can't sleep
my thoughts keep spinning
they're so fast, they're making me dizzy
I just want it to slow down
before I crash and burn out
from all of these hallucinations
that in the day are haunting me
and there's a shadow always by my side
that keeps screaming in my ear
constantly tell me secrets
that no one else can hear
I just want the shadows silenced
I'd do anything for some peace and quiet
but the shadows won't go away
and things never seem to slow down
no matter how firmly I stand
with my feet planted on the ground.
Get out of my lifeWhy can't you just leave me alone
accept that I'm happy without you
putting me down, putting him down
none of that is going to bring me back
because I'm not ever coming back
there's nothing you can say
and there's nothing you can do
I'm not changing my mind
so just accept that we're through
get over it all and leave
I can't stand all your negativity
I don't need that in my life
I don't need you in my life
you're nothing but a virus
that keeps trying to infect me
but I've built up antibodies
I'm immune to your disease
I won't play your games
I see right through your lies
so move on and get out of my life
Forgotten faceThere's a girl in every picture
but no one knows her name
how can we see someone everyday
and still not recognize their face
it's amazing how time passes
the people around us change
some of them we never forget
but others quickly fade away
and in the end there's a picture
always of a forgotten face
a picture of a mysterious girl
and no one remembers her name
arguments with myselfI had an argument with myself today
looking in the mirror I told myself everything
Everyone else has been too afraid to say
and underneath it all I found my biggest mistakes
I've learned that the moments I regret the most
are the one in which I ignored my heart and played it safe
I feel happy, I feel more alive when I take risks
so I'll take a chance on you, I'll take a chance on this
I'll put my heart into it, I'll give it all I've got
then even if it fails at least I'll know I gave it a shot
Inner soul reflectionI'm scared to admit what I've been thinking
because I've been thinking about myself a lot
tearing myself down with inner soul reflection
realizing I'm more complex than originally thought
all this time I've done the things I've done
never knowing why I do the things I do
I always thought I knew who I was
but I've never even scratched the surface
so inside my head I'm digging deeper
I'm digging down until I reach my core
so I can quit repeatedly making the same mistakes
and finally understand why I am the way I am.
Good Things Always Come DisguisedHe wasn't just a boy in tin foil
what you had was the real deal
you had a knight in a world full of cowards
but you messed up, you threw it all away
because you refused to grow up
you just had to play your childish games
and she, she wasn't just another girl
she was a princess in disguise
the last one left of her kind
but you pushed her away
you couldn't let go of your jealousy
you just had to play your childish games
and now she's gone, now he's gone
he stayed put, she ran away
but it all worked out, they fell into place
and I don't know how your story ends
but in this story the knight gets the princess.
Selling my soulAll this time I thought chivalry was dead
until you came along and behaved like a gentleman
now I'm thinking about selling you my soul
because all you have to do is touch me and I tremble
you kiss me and my heart literally skips a beat
it terrifies me, it's never been this way before
but I'm not running away, because nervousness is half the fun
I'm sticking around, my souls yours from this point on.
on the edge of nowhereI stand here on the edge of this cliff
looking back at the life I've lived
was it a life lived to the fullest?
Did I ever really live at all?
somedays I feel like I've wasted it
like I've spent it standing still
too afraid to take that next step forward
terrified I'd end up getting hurt
Have I just been a ship in the harbor
wanting to live but too afraid to start?
always so afraid of losing myself
that I have yet to discover who I am
all I've done is barely even existed
I've coasted along, if I've ever moved at all
I've lived a life with no purpose, No meaning
I've never left a mark on anyone or anything
I often thought I was alive, thought I was living
shared a few laughs, cracked a few smiles
but was I living, or was I just existing?
as I stand here looking back on the life I've lived
I see no reason, nothing is stopping me
I could easily step forward, right off of this cliff
nothing would change, I wouldn't be missed
the world would go on, and I'd simply cease to exist.
I miss what we could have hadIt's crazy laying here
knowing I still love you
I wake up in the middle of the night
and reach over just to find
empty space on what was once your side
I miss the warmth of your arms
I miss how safe I felt inside of them
I always felt safe when I was with you
atleast until one of us spoke
then I didn't feel safe, I felt trapped
but I still miss the relationship we could have had
we could have been perfect for each other
if you would have realized I'm not my past
and I'm not your past either.
when you find yourself
in a crowd of familiar faces,
the struggle for breath
You Will PayI can taste the fear upon you:
The cold sweat in your palms,
The eyes that dart at shadows,
And the lips that are forced into a tightened smile.
You wait beneath the blankets,
Shivering each night as the anxiety rises.
You gasp at the slightest sounds and quiver...
For you are afraid of the curse that comes.
In your mind you see what you have done to me.
You watched as you ripped my tongue
And stole the very voice from my soul!
But even if I am without a body,
Even if I can no longer hold a knife to your throat.
Fear alone is enough for me to silence you,
And I will NEVER allow you to be heard!
To The HeroesJustice?
I'm not sure you know what that means.
To you the very word of "justice" suggests that:
Those who do not comply are simply targets to be broken.
Those who do not agree with you, must always be denied.
Those who have the greatest freedom are chained and made to kneel.
And those who choose to fight are labeled 'incarnates of evil'.
Doesn't it all sound a little familiar?
I think it does...
So tell me, oh great hero,
Having fought monsters like me for so many years...
How does it feel to have finally become one?
MazeLost within myself
Looking for a way out
This cannot end like this
Trapped in my own mind
A maze with no exit
I keep running and running
But I always end up
In the same place where I began
Inner DemonI harbour a monster,
It lingers deep within.
It wants to escape me,
To tear free from my skin.
It gnaws at my insides,
And hopes that I'll give in.
It works hard to tempt me,
To lead me into sin.
It wants me to suffer
To feel its wretched sting.
But I stand true and strong,
I will not let it win.
The nights are the hardest,
In bed I pray and sing
To the Lord God above
To rid me of this thing.
But instead it remains,
My monster still within.
RustThe dwelling rust
swells this hollow garden
and somewhere in the yard
a tire swing goes flat
against the skyline.
It chokes the autumn light
in the silo,
the crush of
mums and ragged berries
It bubbles in the percolator
steeping still life
in the caul
of early morning -
the red-brown crumbs
of breakfast toast and jam
growing ghosts upon
And deep inside
I still hear you waking up
the soft salute
of morning voices
stirring the wind
outside my window.
Red Light ReduxHaving a truck
Paint me red
Is the strangest feeling
I’ve ever felt.
I’ve seen myself melt away
Like a mid-summer’s ice cream
While my personality screams
To be noticed. Every wall that once
Stood between me and reality
I am finally free.
Until they strapped me down
And sewed back my hands to my head.
My heart to my mouth.
My legs to the earth.
The taste of freedom
Rests gently on my tongue,
And I’ve been trying
To no avail.
With a pinch the world endsI keep staring at the marks on my shoulder
and the heart shaped bruise on my upper arm
trying to figure out why I'm putting up with this
I know I deserve better, but I'm convinced I love you
I don't know when to run, when do I leave this time
You keep saying you're sorry, you don't mean to hurt me,
but isn't that what they all say, no one ever means it
It starts with a pinch and next thing you know it's a fist
I actually believed there was no way you'd ever do that to me
I never thought you'd hit me, but now you're not so far from maybe
and truth is, it scares me, I'm afraid of what you're becoming,
afraid enough that sometimes I want to drvie off and leave everything
I want to drive long past the point where I run out of road
I want to drive into the ocean and find where the world ends.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More