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shadows and dreamsThere's so much screaming in my dreams
It's so loud that I can't sleep
my thoughts keep spinning
they're so fast, they're making me dizzy
I just want it to slow down
before I crash and burn out
from all of these hallucinations
that in the day are haunting me
and there's a shadow always by my side
that keeps screaming in my ear
constantly tell me secrets
that no one else can hear
I just want the shadows silenced
I'd do anything for some peace and quiet
but the shadows won't go away
and things never seem to slow down
no matter how firmly I stand
with my feet planted on the ground.
Get out of my lifeWhy can't you just leave me alone
accept that I'm happy without you
putting me down, putting him down
none of that is going to bring me back
because I'm not ever coming back
there's nothing you can say
and there's nothing you can do
I'm not changing my mind
so just accept that we're through
get over it all and leave
I can't stand all your negativity
I don't need that in my life
I don't need you in my life
you're nothing but a virus
that keeps trying to infect me
but I've built up antibodies
I'm immune to your disease
I won't play your games
I see right through your lies
so move on and get out of my life
Forgotten faceThere's a girl in every picture
but no one knows her name
how can we see someone everyday
and still not recognize their face
it's amazing how time passes
the people around us change
some of them we never forget
but others quickly fade away
and in the end there's a picture
always of a forgotten face
a picture of a mysterious girl
and no one remembers her name
arguments with myselfI had an argument with myself today
looking in the mirror I told myself everything
Everyone else has been too afraid to say
and underneath it all I found my biggest mistakes
I've learned that the moments I regret the most
are the one in which I ignored my heart and played it safe
I feel happy, I feel more alive when I take risks
so I'll take a chance on you, I'll take a chance on this
I'll put my heart into it, I'll give it all I've got
then even if it fails at least I'll know I gave it a shot
Inner soul reflectionI'm scared to admit what I've been thinking
because I've been thinking about myself a lot
tearing myself down with inner soul reflection
realizing I'm more complex than originally thought
all this time I've done the things I've done
never knowing why I do the things I do
I always thought I knew who I was
but I've never even scratched the surface
so inside my head I'm digging deeper
I'm digging down until I reach my core
so I can quit repeatedly making the same mistakes
and finally understand why I am the way I am.
Good Things Always Come DisguisedHe wasn't just a boy in tin foil
what you had was the real deal
you had a knight in a world full of cowards
but you messed up, you threw it all away
because you refused to grow up
you just had to play your childish games
and she, she wasn't just another girl
she was a princess in disguise
the last one left of her kind
but you pushed her away
you couldn't let go of your jealousy
you just had to play your childish games
and now she's gone, now he's gone
he stayed put, she ran away
but it all worked out, they fell into place
and I don't know how your story ends
but in this story the knight gets the princess.
Selling my soulAll this time I thought chivalry was dead
until you came along and behaved like a gentleman
now I'm thinking about selling you my soul
because all you have to do is touch me and I tremble
you kiss me and my heart literally skips a beat
it terrifies me, it's never been this way before
but I'm not running away, because nervousness is half the fun
I'm sticking around, my souls yours from this point on.
on the edge of nowhereI stand here on the edge of this cliff
looking back at the life I've lived
was it a life lived to the fullest?
Did I ever really live at all?
somedays I feel like I've wasted it
like I've spent it standing still
too afraid to take that next step forward
terrified I'd end up getting hurt
Have I just been a ship in the harbor
wanting to live but too afraid to start?
always so afraid of losing myself
that I have yet to discover who I am
all I've done is barely even existed
I've coasted along, if I've ever moved at all
I've lived a life with no purpose, No meaning
I've never left a mark on anyone or anything
I often thought I was alive, thought I was living
shared a few laughs, cracked a few smiles
but was I living, or was I just existing?
as I stand here looking back on the life I've lived
I see no reason, nothing is stopping me
I could easily step forward, right off of this cliff
nothing would change, I wouldn't be missed
the world would go on, and I'd simply cease to exist.
I miss what we could have hadIt's crazy laying here
knowing I still love you
I wake up in the middle of the night
and reach over just to find
empty space on what was once your side
I miss the warmth of your arms
I miss how safe I felt inside of them
I always felt safe when I was with you
atleast until one of us spoke
then I didn't feel safe, I felt trapped
but I still miss the relationship we could have had
we could have been perfect for each other
if you would have realized I'm not my past
and I'm not your past either.
She's a WriterShe sits at her desk
Her headphones in,
The world shut out.
She bleeds for others
As words fly from
Her mind to her fingertips.
She stares at the screen,
At every little comment,
The good and the painful.
She forms her emotions
Into books and poems
To throw away the hurt.
She's a writer,
And her best weapons
Are her mind and her pen.
Evil or kind?Negativity makes me smile
My poses and laughter
Suit the best villains
But I care so much about my friends
About their emotions and well being
And I always cheer them up
Am I evil?
Am I kind?
Maybe a little bit of both...
Do you know what it feels like...To be lonely?
To be bullied?
To be called ugly?
To be unattractive?
To be compared to other women?
To be considered unnormal?
To be unloved even though you give love to others?
To face issues that you don't in reality know how to fix?
To think that your goal you're reaching for, is unattainable?
To feel like the cause of many people's problems?
To be held up on a high pedistal that you can't get down off of?
To realize that people don't like you based on your personailty?
To at no avail, keep up your happy and upbeatness for others?
To look at happy couples and wish that you had someone to be happy with?
To stop fighting for anything anymore?
death of a sweet sixteeni found my house on
the market the
other day -
- it was 2011 again,
but the sun had set
on my nights of terror
nose to the barstool and
two black eyes, a dish
towel caught in my throat.
i keep trying to find
pieces of myself that
no longer exist - a dead dog,
baby blue walls, whispered
it sold for six figures,
and i can only wish
that i could sell my pain
for that much, but no
one would be willing to buy
it, as i am it's sole host,
the only one who
one of these days i will
drive by that sad eyed
grey house before we are
gone for good, and i will set
up with my camera, snapping
photos of my whitewashed hurt.
and if i linger too long,
so be it, as i've spent so
many nights ruined,
scraped away like the stars
once stuck on my
the bank may own my house,
but it will never own my heart.
A Cup of TeaCome on in and
Take a seat,
Sit with me a while
What you are and
Where you're from
Have a cup of tea,
Stay a while
To learn about you,
To know you
Your pain and
I will listen
Reveal to me
Your origin and
I will accept you
For you are me
You are my demon,
A part of myself,
I will never reject you
Care for a second cup?
By the LakeSat beneath a Christmas tree in late-March.
The ground is damp but pliant, it pretends to accept me
and then sneaks its cold fingers through my clothes
to dampen my spirits further with its chilly undertones.
I stare at the river, plump with soon-to-be April showers.
It does roly-polys over the smallest of obstacles and goes on.
It reminds me of what I should be able to do.
It runs as I grind to a full stop, and consider my life sentence.
The sky is blue; not like me, but bright and crisped;
Its been blurred by an amateur around the edges with cloud
But they don’t threaten me with rain just yet so, for now, we are friends.
The sun is missing. No one knows where she is.
She could be dead, by now. At the bottom of the lake.
Could have slunk there in a midday sunset.
She could of drowned her sorrows in the ricocheting tides
of a man made dam and its loosened throat. She could be.
She is not, she is hiding.
The sun hides from the world but leaves a blue sheen behind
to let everyone k
ConfrontationI shed a tear
The damage will be severe
Run away in fear?
I'll fight until the coast is clear!
Reasons We Love Homestuck“Reasons we love H O M E S T U C K.”
Why do this love this web comic, you ask?
Maybe it’s just the way the fandom rolls,
or how mean Andrew Hussie trolls.
It could possibly be Eridan’s accent (WWyeh?)
or even Feferi’s keyboard trident. (---E)
Some people say it’s Equius’ broken bows and arrows, ( D →)
but what about Nepeta’s meows and roleplays? (:33 <)
We really do love Sollux’s lisp,
and also when Karkat’s pissed. (FUCKASS!)
Including Kanaya's fabulous lipstick,
it's also Rose's amazing magic.
How about when Dave starts rapping
and Jade Harley begins napping?
We love Vriska’s eight-pupiled eye,
and how John is such an adorable guy.
Or maybe it’s with all the sprites
or how prospit glows bright.
Can’t forget about Derse’s darkness
or Gamzee and all his soberness. (WHOOPS.)
There’s also this thing with Tav and stairs
which he t
How To Not Break Your HeartHow to
not break your heart
Make sure to quickly
let go of hands
that refuse to hold you
and pretend it was
just a simple accident
(And, oh god, please,
please don't open
Admit that things
can't be perfect
when you can't convince
yourself to believe
that it was worth
the days you stayed
up until 5 AM
play your cards right and
don't love anything with a pulse-
They'll make you crumble
like a house of cards
Fall for the ones who fell
like shooting stars and
left imprints in the concrete
when their times were up
Fall for the ones you
can never touch whether
they are black-and-white,
colored, or just in another
Sculpt them to suit your needs
Fall for figments of your imagination, too
because they'll move their pieces
according to you and only you
and always you
always make sure to
love things that aren't alive
They'll never betray you
With a pinch the world endsI keep staring at the marks on my shoulder
and the heart shaped bruise on my upper arm
trying to figure out why I'm putting up with this
I know I deserve better, but I'm convinced I love you
I don't know when to run, when do I leave this time
You keep saying you're sorry, you don't mean to hurt me,
but isn't that what they all say, no one ever means it
It starts with a pinch and next thing you know it's a fist
I actually believed there was no way you'd ever do that to me
I never thought you'd hit me, but now you're not so far from maybe
and truth is, it scares me, I'm afraid of what you're becoming,
afraid enough that sometimes I want to drvie off and leave everything
I want to drive long past the point where I run out of road
I want to drive into the ocean and find where the world ends.
Keep in Touch!
Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More