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shadows and dreamsThere's so much screaming in my dreams
It's so loud that I can't sleep
my thoughts keep spinning
they're so fast, they're making me dizzy
I just want it to slow down
before I crash and burn out
from all of these hallucinations
that in the day are haunting me
and there's a shadow always by my side
that keeps screaming in my ear
constantly tell me secrets
that no one else can hear
I just want the shadows silenced
I'd do anything for some peace and quiet
but the shadows won't go away
and things never seem to slow down
no matter how firmly I stand
with my feet planted on the ground.
Get out of my lifeWhy can't you just leave me alone
accept that I'm happy without you
putting me down, putting him down
none of that is going to bring me back
because I'm not ever coming back
there's nothing you can say
and there's nothing you can do
I'm not changing my mind
so just accept that we're through
get over it all and leave
I can't stand all your negativity
I don't need that in my life
I don't need you in my life
you're nothing but a virus
that keeps trying to infect me
but I've built up antibodies
I'm immune to your disease
I won't play your games
I see right through your lies
so move on and get out of my life
Forgotten faceThere's a girl in every picture
but no one knows her name
how can we see someone everyday
and still not recognize their face
it's amazing how time passes
the people around us change
some of them we never forget
but others quickly fade away
and in the end there's a picture
always of a forgotten face
a picture of a mysterious girl
and no one remembers her name
arguments with myselfI had an argument with myself today
looking in the mirror I told myself everything
Everyone else has been too afraid to say
and underneath it all I found my biggest mistakes
I've learned that the moments I regret the most
are the one in which I ignored my heart and played it safe
I feel happy, I feel more alive when I take risks
so I'll take a chance on you, I'll take a chance on this
I'll put my heart into it, I'll give it all I've got
then even if it fails at least I'll know I gave it a shot
Inner soul reflectionI'm scared to admit what I've been thinking
because I've been thinking about myself a lot
tearing myself down with inner soul reflection
realizing I'm more complex than originally thought
all this time I've done the things I've done
never knowing why I do the things I do
I always thought I knew who I was
but I've never even scratched the surface
so inside my head I'm digging deeper
I'm digging down until I reach my core
so I can quit repeatedly making the same mistakes
and finally understand why I am the way I am.
Good Things Always Come DisguisedHe wasn't just a boy in tin foil
what you had was the real deal
you had a knight in a world full of cowards
but you messed up, you threw it all away
because you refused to grow up
you just had to play your childish games
and she, she wasn't just another girl
she was a princess in disguise
the last one left of her kind
but you pushed her away
you couldn't let go of your jealousy
you just had to play your childish games
and now she's gone, now he's gone
he stayed put, she ran away
but it all worked out, they fell into place
and I don't know how your story ends
but in this story the knight gets the princess.
Selling my soulAll this time I thought chivalry was dead
until you came along and behaved like a gentleman
now I'm thinking about selling you my soul
because all you have to do is touch me and I tremble
you kiss me and my heart literally skips a beat
it terrifies me, it's never been this way before
but I'm not running away, because nervousness is half the fun
I'm sticking around, my souls yours from this point on.
on the edge of nowhereI stand here on the edge of this cliff
looking back at the life I've lived
was it a life lived to the fullest?
Did I ever really live at all?
somedays I feel like I've wasted it
like I've spent it standing still
too afraid to take that next step forward
terrified I'd end up getting hurt
Have I just been a ship in the harbor
wanting to live but too afraid to start?
always so afraid of losing myself
that I have yet to discover who I am
all I've done is barely even existed
I've coasted along, if I've ever moved at all
I've lived a life with no purpose, No meaning
I've never left a mark on anyone or anything
I often thought I was alive, thought I was living
shared a few laughs, cracked a few smiles
but was I living, or was I just existing?
as I stand here looking back on the life I've lived
I see no reason, nothing is stopping me
I could easily step forward, right off of this cliff
nothing would change, I wouldn't be missed
the world would go on, and I'd simply cease to exist.
I miss what we could have hadIt's crazy laying here
knowing I still love you
I wake up in the middle of the night
and reach over just to find
empty space on what was once your side
I miss the warmth of your arms
I miss how safe I felt inside of them
I always felt safe when I was with you
atleast until one of us spoke
then I didn't feel safe, I felt trapped
but I still miss the relationship we could have had
we could have been perfect for each other
if you would have realized I'm not my past
and I'm not your past either.
float onnow I'm thinking
that the moon's smarter than me:
she's in love with the earth
but keeps her distance,
I lose my orbit
when you're not around,
and I find myself without gravity,
waiting for you all night
when I know you'd rather be
The ArtistShe talked to rocks, asking them if they’d be happy
To leave their home for her newest installation piece
She cried sometimes for no reason other than
She felt like having a good cry
Her house was covered in her students’ drawings
She said the best art was produced from innocence
She went mad once, and painted canvas after canvas
In furious strokes of black
The soft blue world of youth at last faded, she grew old
People shook their heads when they saw her
And whispered “poor dear” under their breath
But she was never poor
Her love for everything and everyone never died
It was swept in all directions like a summer breeze
Making people smile without knowing why
But the river rocks know
AlphaThere is an ocean
of wolves battering
my heels, teeth
bared, breaking skin.
Lightning is laced
into my spine, it
takes no prisoners,
but electricity is
no match for their howls.
I stand as the lioness
within roars and spits
out a hundred curses.
They are now prey,
with tumbleweed trolls
sinking their brambles
into matted fur.
Unique? Pathetic.You say that you are unique? Pathetic.
You are not, nor will you ever be unique. There are 7 billion people in the world- people just like you.
The same hair color, the same hair style; the same eye color, the same crooked smile. The same jacked up teeth that you forget to brush and the same chipped nails you pick at when you're in a rush. The same chapped lips- which you never stop biting; the same non-pierced ears that you never stop tugging. The same exact skin color, even when you tan; the same exact tan lines seen on every woman. The same exact figure, whether you lose or gain weight; the same exact death sentence, this is your fate.
A fate to always want to look like that girl in 3rd; to be as funny as that guy in 6th; to be as smart as the transfer in 2nd; and definitely be as happy as your teacher in 1st.
You can't say that you're unique when you have this fate. You can't be unique when you're just made of different people, and I will bet you anything that they're
the only timei say baby there’s too much weakness
we bled god to death like a dried up felt-tip pen
it is time to find another excuse for our shortcomings
but when your gutter vessels shudder
under pockmarked blotter
it is guilt
underscored in red
the sellotape the tear duct
the paper knife
the whip of risk the bodies at your feet
the every inherently senseless sacrifice
couldn’t satisfy this
i say there’s nothing to apologize for
the yellow in the sky feels dated
as i walk away
from tree to femur.
from wave to throat.
from cliff to iris.
from rust to skin.
slivers to paper mache,
creases to flame,
ashes to steel.
C19H28O2Testosterone is not a measure of a man.
C19H28O2 cannot make me smile
or feel safe in a claustrophobic world
in which breathing causes the piercing
colostomic pain of being alive
to rip through my thoughts.
C19H28O2 doesn't determine how a man loves
or how I love him in return.
It does not tell me whether or not
he will enlighten the biting nightscape.
It does not tell me who, or how to love,
because testosterone is not a measure of a man.
Soles (City Boy)Soles (City Boy)
i tugged at your arm and pouted
as you scratched our initials into the park bench
with our apartment key.
“can our lives be any more like a cheesy romance novel?!”
and you pushed up your glasses
and flashed me a smirk
and said simply,
“don’t test me.”
i’d always been a forest girl,
counting rows of corn instead
of cracks in the concrete,
sitting cross-legged under my bridge
listening to birds croon on crooked telephone lines
used to carrying a different kind of call.
but you showed me this place
where the sky glowed with
the beacons found below,
on passing cars
and the skyscrapers
like older brothers
looming far above our heads
yes, now we were living among the stars.
i arrived in the morning
and by mid-afternoon
i had internalized the sounds
of a hundred soles
scuffing across ill-kept sidewalks,
but our soles were dancing up on the rooftops
and no one could hope
to call us down.
i held tight to your hand
as you pulled us through the
ephemeral ( again )and i woke up in a
without knowing where i stood, snow
falling like dead raindrops
from a sky filled with
fall along my axis
and forget which way goes
the way our mind makes concentration
a little more
(to the left)
and there's a piece of you
you couldn't find;
don't forget that
there's monsters beneath the
sheets - ghosts without
(oh, how the sky is caving
in - )
run faster or
you'll just wake up to try
With a pinch the world endsI keep staring at the marks on my shoulder
and the heart shaped bruise on my upper arm
trying to figure out why I'm putting up with this
I know I deserve better, but I'm convinced I love you
I don't know when to run, when do I leave this time
You keep saying you're sorry, you don't mean to hurt me,
but isn't that what they all say, no one ever means it
It starts with a pinch and next thing you know it's a fist
I actually believed there was no way you'd ever do that to me
I never thought you'd hit me, but now you're not so far from maybe
and truth is, it scares me, I'm afraid of what you're becoming,
afraid enough that sometimes I want to drvie off and leave everything
I want to drive long past the point where I run out of road
I want to drive into the ocean and find where the world ends.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More